Reasons I know I was born at the right time: the original Star Wars trilogy opened my mind to a galaxy of possibilities, and Oregon Trail was there to hone my decision-making abilities. It also didn’t hurt that I arrived between Gen X and Millennials, which has enabled me to work well with both generations.
I’m not the only one, either. There’s a whole group of us that excel at bridging the divide between Generations X and Y. Xennials like me were born between ‘77 and ‘83. And I believe our place between these two generations has helped us succeed in business and as leaders. If you’re looking to do the same — whether you were born in 1967 or 1987 — here are several behaviors you can emulate:
1. We’re adept communicators
Coming of age in the 80s and 90s means Xennials had to get comfortable with multiple modes of communication, including talking face-to-face and over the phone. We were never able to hide behind emails or text messaging. Like the generations that came before us, we had to get comfortable with occasionally being uncomfortable.
If you’re not sure how to make in-person interactions less awkward, there are a few easy things you can do. First, make sure you’re not slouching when engaging with someone. It’s OK to be relaxed vs. rigid, but try to sit or stand up straight and face the other person. Also, don’t cross your arms. While it may be a defensive measure for you, it could project that you’re angry or disinterested in what the other person has to say.
Another way to show respect for the people you speak with is to maintain eye contact. Doing so can convey sincerity and make you more vulnerable, fostering feelings of trust. As our work life becomes an endless parade of Zoom meetings, it’s also critically important to enunciate. If people can’t hear you, you won’t be able to connect with them. The solution isn’t to shout into your computer or phone, though. That will surely come across as demanding or flat-out aggressive. My advice: practice what’s an appropriate volume in every context (Zoom rooms, conference rooms, auditoriums, etc.). Preparation like this will help you come across as supremely confident in 1:1 and group interactions.
2. We don’t fear the unknown
As I hinted above, Xennials were the last generation to have an analog childhood and digital adulthood. We were actually the first generation to have the Internet at home, which is probably unfathomable to those in Gen Z. We were also around for the advent of Web 2.0 and social media. We taught ourselves how to use — and even master — these innovations in every instance.
Similar to how Millennials struggle with offline communication, I’ve seen elder Xers and Boomers falter when trying to use tools like Trello, Slack, Zoom, etc. It’s not that they can’t use them, but they don’t understand their value. As such, they stop trying to learn them when they get frustrated by the user experience.
My advice for anyone struggling to adapt would be to talk to coworkers and learn the merits of the technology that’s intimidating them. If we learned anything from the pandemic, older generations can embrace technology when there’s a clear benefit. According to one 2020 study, Baby Boomers’ sudden use of digital tools led to massive adoption of curbside pick-up services at grocery stores (+431%) and restaurants (+300%). Boomers also flocked to telehealth platforms, leading to a 469% increase in usage.
A mixture of curiosity and perseverance fueled Xennials’ adoption of new technology. There’s no reason older generations can’t get there, too.
3. We believe in work/life balance — and know how to get something out of it
Unlike the generations that followed us, Xennials weren’t born with devices in our hands. We grew up without them, so we’re comfortable putting them away when we need to.
When I come back to the office after a period of disconnectedness, I feel refreshed and have a clarity of vision. When I don’t have the daily demands of the office pinging me incessantly, it gives me the chance to take a holistic look at how I’m working — and what I should change.
If this isn’t something you’re naturally in the habit of doing, here are some of the questions I ask myself during those quiet reflect moments that are perfect for a self-assessment:
Am I achieving the goals I set for myself?
If not, what’s limiting me?
What might I do differently?
Which of my achievements make me the proudest?
How can I create more of those opportunities?
The next time you take a long weekend — or perhaps a vacation — I suggest packing an actual notebook you can use to record your thoughts. Early one morning, before beginning the day’s adventures, ask yourself questions like the above and see where it takes you. Then, put everything aside and enjoy yourself. Once you’ve returned to work, review your notes and think of changes you should start making to your working life.
4. We know how to make everyone feel included (and heard)
As a generation that overlaps two others, Xennials can understand the needs and motivations of Gen X and Millennials. As a result, we’re probably the most adept at mediating conversations between the two.
Building consensus can be tricky, but it’s not impossible for the uninitiated. You just have to be an active listener, be able to translate needs and find common ground.
It starts by addressing the issue that seems to be divisive. Dig into what led to the disconnect and make sure you understand it. Ask the various parties to share their needs and opinions, but hold off discussing any resolutions. Once you’ve collected everyone’s thoughts, it’s time to welcome their ideas.
Analyze each by its pros and cons, looking for the solution that addresses most peoples’ concerns. Sometimes this requires taking a little from column A and column B. Once you feel you’re on to something, share your proposal with the group and determine if there are still stumbling blocks. Is it something people can get behind? Remember, you’re not looking for a perfect solution — just one that satisfies most everyone.
This is where those Xennial communication skills come in handy, but anyone who’s OK having uncomfortable conversations can help a team arrive at a consensus.
5) We’re incredibly self-aware
Perhaps more than any generation that preceded us, Xennials have been able to explore what we want to do, how we get value from work, and what gives us purpose.
Of course, a lot of this is thanks to coming of age during an economic boom. We had the luxuries of gap years and being able to quit a crappy job because there were tons of other, better jobs out there.
So are there shortcuts to discovery? Absolutely. Meditation is an excellent way to start exploring your needs and wants. There are plenty of great apps with guided explorations. You don’t, however, have to be that formal. You can also let your mind wander during mundane tasks and ideal moments. You could honestly ask yourself the same questions from the work/balance exercise. Instead of reserving that exercise for your vacation time, you could have that conversation with yourself more frequently. I have some friends who say their daily journaling has helped them arrive at some powerful realizations.
If you’re not introspective, you can also take psychometric tests to get to know yourself better. Everyone knows Myers-Briggs, but you may get value out of others. Gallup’s CliftonStrengths 34 is a great assessment to take. It focuses more on revealing what you’re best at and where you need to improve. Each report comes with coaching tips as well.
Another way to assess yourself is to ask your closest colleagues for feedback. This could be an informal conversation over coffee or anonymously in the form of a 360 review.
6. We can be cynical and optimistic at the same time
Xennials are pretty adept at borrowing heavily from those that came before and after us. We can use cynicism to help cut through the BS at work while embracing optimism when looking at problems.
There are ways non-Xennials can adopt realistic optimism, too. Start by being mindful of what’s happening around you. You’ll also want to look inward as well. Do you have too many positive or negative thoughts? Work to balance this by being positive but pragmatic. A good example is acknowledging how a change to a long-standing business practice could cause short-term confusion and how you also believe your team is up to the challenge. Once you’ve mastered how to think internally, you can apply this same litmus test to the messages you send to your staff.
Your honorary Xennial membership card awaits
To be honest, it doesn’t matter if you were born at the right time or not. By striving to be the above, you can earn the title of honorary Xennial. And that could do as much for your leadership abilities as an advanced degree.